


by your side

by stuffandsundry



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Miscommunication, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Crush, get ready for drama my dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-08 11:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12253401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffandsundry/pseuds/stuffandsundry
Summary: Ryuji has a problem, and that problem is Goro Akechi and his stupid pretty face.Akira has a problem, and that problem is Ryuji Sakamoto and his awful oblivious happiness.Goro has a problem, and that problem is... himself. (And also Akira Kurusu. And Ryuji Sakamoto, and-)





	1. Act 1: Ryuji

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadisthetic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadisthetic/gifts).



> this is possibly the most self-indulgent thing ive ever written lmao

So. Ryuji thinks he might have a problem.

A big problem, and one he has no idea what to do with, and one that he _should_ avoid but isn't for some reason, one that's cycling down the path _right now_ —

"Good morning, Ryuji." Goro Akechi rides up, wearing his cycling gear. He gently rolls to a halt next to Ryuji, and smiles at him.

Ryuji feels a sudden urge to punch something. It's a feeling that rises up every time he sees Akechi ("You can call me Goro, you know? I'd like to think we've gotten to know each other, considering how we always seem to meet while working out nowadays.") _Goro_ , call him Goro, and that dumb picture perfect TV face of his. Ryuji doesn't even know why he gets all pissed whenever Goro smiles at him. It's not as if Goro's done anything bad to him or anything, he just gives Ryuji weird vibes. And it's stupid.

Ugh, whatever. He shoves his dumb emotions back into a box and continues cool-down stretches, barely pausing to give Goro a nod. "Sup?"

"Oh, not much, really." Goro props his bike up against a nearby tree, and leans back against the fence that Ryuji's using for stretches. "I just wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me the last week, about the warmups I was doing. I've definitely noticed a difference after trying your way. I want to pay you back somehow."

Ryuji's chest tightens, and he shakes his head in irritation. He tries not to let it show. "Don't even worry about it. Now I don't gotta watch you flounder around like a total doofus, so you can just call it even, yeah?"

"No, really," Goro continues earnestly. "You didn't have to do that for me— and yet, you did it anyways. There has to be some way I can repay you."

Goro leans in closer, so close that Ryuji can see his eyelashes 'n all, and Ryuji can feel his face getting kind of hot. He snaps at Goro. "Dude, I said don't worry about it! I didn't help 'cause I wanted something from you, okay?"

Ryuji leans forwards with more force than strictly necessary, and touches his head to his knee. He's definitely not hidin' or anything from that jackass. He stays in that position for a count of ten, and when he looks up—

When Ryuji looks up, he catches an odd expression on Goro's face for just a second, before it's smoothed away into a politely bland expression again. Maybe Ryuji was just imagining it, but it'd seemed kinda surprised, in a soft and nice way— no, nope, what the hell, Ryuji. Get your act together!

"Well, then. I suppose I'll just thank you for your generosity."

_Aaaaaaaaaah eff that guy so much damn it damnitdamnit._

Goro heads off a little bit later, and Ryuji finishes up his cooldowns, muttering angrily under his breath the entire time.

Stupid Goro and his stupid everything.

* * *

 

(Message history for contact name ANN)

>>Hey, Ryuji!!!! Wanna come shopping with me today?

>> What am I saying. Of course u do.

>> Meet me in Harajuku?

Uuuuuuuuuugh<<

Idk todays kinda a bad day? <<

Can we reschedule <<

>> … aight.

>> what's up?

>> are u arguing with ur mom or something?

>> do u need my help?????????

>> Is that total bitch Nakaoka saying nasty shit about you at school again because

>> I'll throw tf down

>> He  won't know what's coming for him

What. No???<<

>> I'll bite him idgaf

>> oh.

>> Well then spill!!!! What's up???????

Nothing!<<

>> You are a lying liar who lies

>> tell me whats up

It's dumb and you'll make fun of me no thanks <<

>> Dude, I swear I wonk make fun of you okay?

>>Look at this. I'm using punctuation and everything. This is Serious Ann time.

wonk <<

>> GOD

>> DAMN

>> IT

lmao <<

>> ok NO REALLY THO TELL ME WHATS UP OR I WILL

>> SHOW UP AT UR DOOR

>> DON’T TEST ME RYUJI SAKAMOTO

Sdfjghfdkjghk FINE JEEZ I GOT IT <<

Its really nothing tho??? I just met Goro again today, and <<

Idk <<

Seeing him around always puts me in a mood <<

>> wait, goro as in goro akechi?

>> """"""""again"""""""

>> ?????

>> wtf dude ur gonna have to start from the beginning on this one

Theres no beginning to start from! <<

We just see each other in the park sometimes <<

Like, I go for runs and hes on a bike <<

U know, exercise <<

U should try it out sometime <<

And I guess hes like akiras friend or something <<

Idk I don’t really get their relationship <<

>> oh, mood

Yeah ikr? Well like <<

Anyways <<

I guess he thinks that that makes us kinda sorta friends or something? <<

Cuz if he sees me, he'll stop and say hi or whatever <<

Which like yeah <<

im not a total asshole, ill say hi back n shit <<

And last week he was doing warmups ALL WRONG <<

What if he'd gotten injured or something, like for real??? <<

and I bitched him out for it <<

And he came up to me today n thanked me?? <<

Idk <<

He's weird and his face is dumb <<

everytime I see him my chest gets all tight  <<

And I wanna punch something <<

God, I hate him so much <<

…Ann? <<

Hello???? <<

>> oh my fucking god.

>> I cant deal with this

>> I

>> do you even realize

>> what am I saying ofc u don’t ur denser than a brick

>> ok

>> u know what this sounds like, ryuji

What? <<

>> you sound like you have a massive crush

>> on goro fuckin akechi

WHAT <<

ANN <<

ANN????? <<

KJFRGH WHAT U CNAT BE SERIOUS <<

>> I am so serious right now!

>> Super serious.

>> Listen to urself!

>> "He was doing sportsy things wrong and I got worried????"

>> "His face is dumb and whenever I see it my chest gets all tight?????????"

>>U don't hate him, u think he's cute~~

NO I DON’T <<

SHUT UP <<

>> Oh yeah, then what do you call this??

>> AND don’t even pretend

>> that u cant like him cuz u """"don’t like guys"""" or some shit

>> we literally had synced gay panics as middle schoolers

>> I know that youre better than that

That's not what I was about to say!! <<

Don’t put wrds in my mouth!!!!!!! <<

Im just… <<

Goro Akechi??? <<

Of all ppl… <<

Like wtf <<

>> He is kind of a dweeb, yeah

>> and also he thinks that we're all phantom thieves

>> which, I mean. yeah

>> and also that we're all criminals who belong in jail

>> …

>> wow, ur right this is kinda wtf

>> ur taste in guys is shit dude

NO ITS NOT <<

BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM <<

U don’t know me, what if I actually have a crush on like <<

Idk <<

Akira <<

>> ok see, that doesn’t count

>> im pretty sure everyones at least a lil bit into akira

>> like have u seen him?

… fair <<

BUT THAT STILL DOESN’T MEAN I LIKE GORO <<

>> god,

>> you're even calling him by his first name already?

>> uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

>> I really gotta do everything around here, don’t i

>> ya ok heres what ur gonna do

>> shut tf up for a hot second.

>> cool off.

>> and seriously think about this for like 30 min

>> and then, come back n talk to me

I… ok. FINE. <<

Cya, I guess <<

(30 MINUTES LATER)

>> soooooooooooooo?

Hhhhhh, <<

I <<

I guess, u might be right? <<

I think I do like him, maybe. <<

Shit, wtf. <<

Wtf <<

I have a crush on goro akechi WHAT DO I DO ANN HELP <<

>> first of all I FUVKING KNEW IT HA

>> and uhhh,

>> well, shit. Idk actually

>> I guess u could tell him that u like him??? If u kno that he likes guys.

Oh yeah, that’s totally gonna work, <<

ill just go up to him and ask yo dude <<

im into u are u into me lets go out <<

GET REAL <<

>> theres no need to get nasty. :s

… sorry. <<

Im just <<

Maybe freaking out a little bit <<

>> eh, don’t worry about it, I gotchu

>> Hm. Lemme think about this

>> ooooooooh.

Yeah? <<

>> akira!!!

>> out of all of us, akira knows goro the best, right?

>> and u two are like, total bros

>> he'll totally help u out I just know it!!!

O shit <<

ur right!!! I cant believe I didn’t think of that?? <<

Yeah!!!! I'll ask him tomorrow after school!!!!! <<

Thanks, Ann. Ur the best <<

>> hehehe, I knew that already!

>> Go get'em, tiger. <3

* * *

 

"Ryuji."

A low voice materializes right next to Ryuji's ear outta nowhere, and he nearly trips on the sidewalk when he tries to whirl around in the middle of taking a step.

Who—

Oh. Of course.

Ryuji shakes his head and sighs. "Jeez, Akira. You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Akira just gives him one of his typical inscrutable smiles in return. It's right after school, and there's a trickle of students who don't have clubs going out the school gates. Ryuji's still not really used to being one of them, to be honest. But that's something he tries not to think too much about, now that he's got Akira and the Phantom Thieves, so he just grins at Akira instead. "Wassup, dude. Do you need something?"

Akira tilts his head thoughtfully. "Hm. Maybe."

His expression barely changes, but Ryuji swears that his smug cat aura or whatever intensifies as he asks Ryuji,  "What's this I hear about you needing my 'expert advice' on a matter?"

Shit.

Ann must have talked to him already. Ryuji has a feeling that she knew that he was gonna chicken out of saying anything (which he's uh, not doing, definitely), or forget to talk to Akira, or something like that. Either way, Ryuji's totally not prepared for this. Now that Akira's here, in front of Ryuji, he can feel a vague sense of fear rising up. What if Akira thought that he was weird for liking guys or something? Ryuji... didn't think he could take that. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Hahaha, yeah. About that, uh. It's… not really somethin' I wanna talk about in the open like this? It's kinda personal. So maybe, can we find someplace private to talk?"

Akira hums thoughtfully. "LeBlanc? Or my room?"

Ryuji brightens. "Yeah. Yeah, your room works! Er. Unless Morgana's gonna be there. Where is he, by the way?" He tries to take a peek into Akira's bag. Nothing. "Finally gotten bored of school?"

"He's exploring the neighborhood today." Akira says with a shrug. "Something about knowing your home turf, or whatnot. I'm not expecting him back until it gets dark, though. We have time."

"Works for me. Let's get going!"

"Alright." Akira smiles at Ryuji, and bumps his shoulder. "I'm curious about what it is you have to tell me."

Ryuji sticks out his tongue at Akira. "Yeah, well, you're gonna hafta wait 'til we get back!"

* * *

 

"So. Spill."

The two of them are sitting in Akira's room. Ryuji's sprawled over the couch, and Akira's sitting cross-legged on his bed, chin resting on his hands.

"Ah. Yeah, that. Well, okay. Here goes…" Ryuji takes a deep breath. He can do this. He can _do_ this. He'd trust Akira with his life, one little secret should be nothing. "Uh, okay. So, like… I like guys. And girls. Both. I like 'em both, yeah?"

Akira nods, slowly, but he doesn't say anything. That's a good sign, right? Ryuji rambles on. "And I hope that's not a problem or anything, I really wasn't gonna bring it up, but, uh… I wanted to ask…"

Akira leans forwards slightly. "Ask what?"

Ryuji's heart is beating like a drum. "You gotta promise not to laugh or anything, okay?"

"I promise."

Here goes.

"I've got a crush on Goro Akechi!" He blurts it out in a rush.

Akira doesn't move. Or respond. Why isn't he saying anything? "… Akira?"

"I…" Akira replies, slowly and carefully. "heard you, yes. Akechi? That's… not who I was expecting, when you said you liked guys."

 _Akira doesn't have a problem with it_. Ryuji laughs, a bit dizzy in relief. "Yeah, I know right? Like, what the hell was I thinking?"

Akira hums noncommittally. "So, what did you need my advice for, specifically? I don't think you came all the way over here just to tell me that."

"Oh! Yeah, I wanted to ask, y'know, since you're friends or something with Goro, I wanted to ask if you could help me figure out what he likes and stuff. I dunno, I just really want him to like me back but I'm kinda dumb with emotions and all that. So… I just thought…" Ryuji trails off, awkwardly.

The corners of Akira's mouth go up a bare fraction, and he finishes Ryuji's thought for him. "That I could help you ask him out?"

Ryuji can feel his ears grow hot. "Well… yeah, I guess. If you wanna put it like that. Like, I think I _really_ like him. And when you like someone, you want them to like you back, right?"

"Yes. I understand." Akira says, softly. He straightens up. "Of course I'll help you, Ryuji. Ah, I just remembered, though, there's something I need to do later. So are we good for now?"

"Oh shit, sorry!" Ryuji jumps up from the couch. "I didn't even think about that, you're always so busy 'n all. I ain't gonna waste anymore of your time, then. That was basically all I wanted to say anyways."

Ryuji pauses right before he runs down the stairs, and smiles brightly back at Akira. "Hey… I just wanted to say thanks, man. You're my best friend, and I dunno what I'd do without you sometimes, y'know?"

Aw shit, Akira probably didn't want to hear all of this sappy shit if he had things to do, Ryuji should cut this short. "Well, seeya around, Akira!"

Ryuji sees Akira raise a hand in farewell as he dashes downstairs, heart light as a feather. Everything was looking up today!

* * *

 

Behind Ryuji, Akira's slight smile fades, and drops completely. When he's absolutely positive that Ryuji's left, he takes a long and shaky breath and punches his pillow. God damn it. God _fucking_ damn it, when Ryuji had said that he had something he wanted to tell Akira in private, he'd been so _sure_ that he'd known what was coming. He'd thought…

Well, it didn't matter what he thought anymore did it?

Ryuji didn't like him back, so Akira's feelings on the matter weren't worth _shit_.

 _It’s fine_ , Akira tells himself. _As long as Ryuji’s happy… you can handle this. This is for his sake._

Akira’s a very good liar. If he says it enough, maybe someday he’ll even believe it.


	2. Act 2: Akira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> btw dont expect the next chapt anytime soon the next few days are Hell  
> >:3c pls enjoy

Akira thinks he might have a proble— Scratch that. He absolutely has a problem, and that problem's name is _Ryuji_.

"— so I said that, y'know, we could go get ramen or something, my treat, I know a great place. He doesn't eat breakfast sometimes, you know? Hey, do you think that I should bring extra snacks on my morning runs? Just in case."

"Sounds good." Akira replies.

"Yeah! Alright then, I can totally do that! Wait, what was I— oh, yeah. He said sure! He'd heard of the place before, but he'd never had the chance to go himself. I'm gonna meet him there next Sunday! I— I think this is it, man." Ryuji says giddily. "I'm not gonna get a better chance than this, am I? I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna tell him."

"Whatever makes you happy." Akira replies.

Ryuji laughs. "Sorry. I know that I must be kind of a bother. I've been, like, calling you practically every day for a month, you must be tired of hearing my voice by now."

"Not possible." Akira replies. It's the most truthful he's been this entire conversation.

"...Hey, man," Ryuji says, slightly distorted by the tinny phone speakers. "I don't think I tell you this enough, but… thanks for listening to me and all. It's nice to know that there's someone by my side while I sort through all my bullshit feelings, yeah?"

Akira forces a smile, even though Ryuji can't possibly see it over the phone. "It's no problem. You're never a bother to me, Ryuji."

"Hahaha, if you say so. Say goodnight to Morgana for me, alright? Seeya tomorrow!"

At the sound of the dial tone, Akira drops his phone onto the bed, and flops facedown onto the mattress. You'd really think that he'd be used to this by now. But no, it's just gotten worse over the weeks. Every day that he has to listen to Ryuji talk about Akechi—

("—Goro's started to smile more around me. N' not like, the fakey smile? This one's real, and it's soft and nice and I just wanna see it more, all the time—"

"—I like his hands. He says he wears gloves all the time because he's got some hot water scars or some shit on them, but I didn't notice anything. His fingers are more slender than mine. More like yours than mine, ha. We were comparing them, so… do you think that counts as, y'know, holding his hand?"

"— so stressed, honestly. Ain't he working with Makoto's sister or some shit? Cuz she needs to lay off of him, for real, or I'll totally fight her. I straight up told him that, actually, and he laughed—")

Akira punches his pillow, repeatedly. _Stop thinking about it._ Wallowing wasn't going to help him. He'd promised that he'd help Ryuji win Akechi's heart, and that was what he was going to do.

 _It'll be over by Sunday,_ he tells himself. _You don't have to listen to Ryuji gush about him anymore after Sunday, some distance is just what you need._

(Akira already misses Ryuji's nightly calls. He's kinda fucked, isn't he?)

* * *

 

"I don't have anything on my face or anything, do I?" Ryuji frets. It's Sunday, and Ryuji's noticeably put some effort into dressing…. Well, dressing like he hadn't fallen face first into a cart full of spray paint. He looks cute.

"You're fine." Akira reassures him.

"Alright. Alright! Wish me luck, okay?" Ryuji bounces up and down on his heels. He's got a huge, silly smile plastered over his face, and Akira can't help but smile back at him, even though he knows that that it’s not meant for him.

"Good luck. Now get going already." He pushes Ryuji forwards, gently.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'!" Ryuji laughs as walks off. Akira watches him leave.

… Akira's got things to do. He should go too. Takemi had been asking if he was up for another clinical trial lately, or he could go to Shibuya and unload some of the loot they'd collected from Futaba's Palace. Ann wanted to hang out, too, and Yusuke was always around Shibuya people-watching these days.

He… should go.

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Akira's still leaning faux-casually on the wall, messing with his phone. He thinks the shopkeeper across the road is looking at him funny now. He must look like he's been stood up on a date or something.

Ha. That's rather ironic.

… How long do dates usually last, anyways? Would Ryuji be coming back this way anytime soon, or would Akira be staying here the whole afternoon?

"Oh, shit, Akira? Why're you still here?"

Akira fumbles with his phone and almost drops it. "Ackshithhhhey, there Ryuji. I was waiting for you."

He takes a look at Ryuji. He's looking at the ground instead of at Akira, and he's got his hands jammed so far into his jacket pockets that the whole thing is stretching out.

A bad feeling starts to form in the pit of Akira’s heart. "How'd the date go? Did he say yes?"

Ryuji laughs, nervously. His breath hitches oddly. "Hahaha, yeah. I… didn't tell him. In the end. Well, whatever, it's all good. Maybe next time, yeah?"

Lying.

Akira asks, carefully. "Ryuji… are you alright?"

Ryuji whips his head up and blinks rapidly. "Yeah! Yeah, of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be? Yo, listen I— I just remembered, I gotta pick up some shit for my mom, okay, I'll see— I'll see you later, 'kay?"

"Ryuji, wait just one sec—" But he's already walking away.

Akira watches him leave. That's not… What had happened? Akira's confident that Ryuji couldn't have possibly screwed up badly enough that he'd walk away from a date crying— and he had been crying, even if he'd been trying his best to hide it.

Has Akira ever seen Ryuji cry before?

Well, when he'd awakened his Persona, sure— but those had been tears of pain, not… whatever the hell this was. And if it had been something that Ryuji had done, then he'd be more likely to be angry, or frustrated. Not crushed.

So, then, if this probably wasn't because of something Ryuji did, then that left…

_A k e c h i._

He must have rejected Ryuji. It's the most plausible answer Akira can come up with, and it makes him see red. Akira bites the inside of his mouth, eyes narrowed in anger. Objectively, Akira knows that he shouldn't have expected Akechi to return Ryuji's feelings in the first place. After all, he had no obligation to do so. And yet, and yet…

It's not _fair._

Akechi's got everything. He's clever, he's pretty, he's got the public hanging off his every word.

He's got Ryuji. Or, well. Maybe Akira should say he _had_ Ryuji.

There's a calculating part of Akira that's telling him that this was his chance— comfort Ryuji while his heart's broken, and maybe, just maybe, the two of them could grow closer, and he could—

But there's a bigger part of Akira— the part that's constantly simmering in fury, the part that had told him _this isn't right_ on that night that basically ruined his life, the part that would carve his own heart out for the sake of thi **ne own justice** — _that_ part, flashes Ryuji's brave smile and crushed posture across Akira's vision, and tells Akira to go punch Akechi right in his smug, self-satisfied face as soon as humanly possible.

…Ryuji had said that they were going to his favorite ramen place, right? That's only two blocks away.

Akira starts running.

* * *

 

He gets lucky.

Akira's just turned the corner when he sees Akechi exiting the restaurant. He slows down to a brisk walk, and makes a beeline towards Akechi. He doesn't seem to have noticed Akira, not yet. That changes, as he gets closer.

"Oh, Akira! I didn't expect to see— _erk._ "

Without breaking his stride, Akira grabs Akechi by the collar and drags him into a nearby alley. Maybe it's because he's got the element of surprise, but Akechi doesn't put up much of a struggle.

When the two of them are far enough in that they can't be easily seen from the road, Akira lets go of Akechi's shirt and shoves him into a wall.

"Alright, what the hell did you say to Ryuji?!"

Akechi's face loses its confused look, and he stands up straighter. He narrows his eyes in calculation "I see… hah. I'd thought that this was the case, actually. Thank you for confirming my suspicions."

Akira blinks out of his anger for a second. "What on earth are you talking about?"

Akechi rolls his eyes. "Don't play _dumb,_ Akira. You're better than that. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Ryuji's got all the subtlety of a pipe to the face."

He sneers and pushes Akira back with one palm. "Pretend to fall in love with me, and get me to reciprocate. Emotional compromise is a classic trick. It's more underhanded than I expected from you, but clever, all the same."

He…

 _He thinks that Ryuji was faking it._ There's a static filling Akira's head, and creeping into the corners of his vision, and he can't move, even as Akechi keeps talking.

"I'll admit, you almost had me there. I didn't suspect anything until, oh, these last few weeks? Ryuji's a better actor than I give him credit for, though I suspect I simply just didn't expect you to delegate this kind of plan to someone so inherently sincere as him, of all people—"

Akira observes that Akechi's face has snapped to one side.

When did that happen? Akira thinks.

Oh.

Akira's hand is outstretched.

He must have hit Akechi.

**Good.**

“You _colossal fucking asshole._ " Akira breathes out. "You shouldn't talk about sincerity when you're too much of a phony to ever know what it looks like."

Goro has his hand on his cheek, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. "What?"

Akira starts chuckling, and he can't stop, because this. This is who Ryuji likes? It's either laughter or tears, at this point, and he'll be damned if he gives that smug fucker another bit of emotion to use as ammo because now he knows what Akechi does with those, huh? Akira thinks that he must sound like a madman right now, but he can't bring himself to give a shit.

"Guess what, Akechi? You don’t know _jack_!” Akira grabs Goro by his lapels, and pulls him in closer in a mocking parody of a lover's embrace. “Don’t you _dare_ try to tell me that Ryuji was faking it. Don't even try."

"You can't possibly mean—"

Akira talks over him, mockingly. His voice is getting louder and louder by the second. " _You_ can't possibly understand how this feels. I’d break this whole world for him! I love him! I love him so much it hurts and every single _fucking_ day I have to listen to him fuss about whether or not you’ve eaten, or how you always seem so stressed,  or how nice your smile is when you're not putting on a show, and you don’t even seem to realize what you just threw away! You think he was _faking_ that?! Fuck you!”

Akira's vision is going slightly blurry, and he realizes belatedly that he really is crying now. Damn it. He swipes his face with one sleeve, angrily.

"Why _you_?" Akira chokes out. He shakes Goro back and forth. "What does he even see in you? What do you have that I don't?"

"Why does he love you, and not me?" Akira might as well be shouting, at this point. Behind him, he hears something hit the ground. Oh, what was it _now?_

Akira turns around with a hearty _fuck off_ on the tip of his tongue, but it dies as soon as he sees who exactly it is, standing in the entrance to the alleyway.

There's a plastic grocery bag by Ryuji's feet, with what looks like cans inside it. He must have dropped it.

Ryuji looks at Akira, and there's a sort of eerie calm on his face. Akira's never seen Ryuji looks so blank before, and he's suddenly aware of just how much of a complete mess he must look like in comparison.

"I'm sorry." Ryuji breaks the silence.

"No, don't—"

I'm sorry" Ryuji repeats. He's still got that heartbreakingly calm look on his face as he backs away, shaking his head. "I mess up everything I touch, I shouldn't have said anything— I shouldn't have asked you for help. This is all my fault. I'm sorry."

Akira lets go of Akechi almost as an afterthought, and reaches out desperately. "Wait, no, Ryuji—"

He's already running.

Akira tries to give chase, but even considering that Ryuji tended to stand out in crowds, he's still way faster than Akira, and he knows the area much better.

He's gone.

* * *

 

As Akira's footsteps fade into the background, Goro slides down the wall until he's sitting down on the floor. His cheek is starting to swell, he thinks. That might be a bit of a problem tomorrow. He should probably go get ice for it.

Goro doesn't move.

This wasn't…

He didn't…

He didn't care that much about what Akira or Ryuji thought of him. They weren't critical to his plan, in the end.

They were interesting, but not—

Goro closes his eyes and buries his head in his hands. "It doesn't matter what they think of me," he says aloud to himself.

It rings hollow.

"It doesn't _matter._ " He insists.

He'd been so sure that his analysis had been correct. After all, why would Ryuji— abrasive but loyal, rough but kind Ryuji—  take an interest in Goro when it'd been obvious to anyone with eyes that _Ryuji and Akira_ were together?


	3. Interlude

ANN <<

ANN I KNOW U HAVE UR PHONE RESPOND NOW <<

>> Futaba why are u texting me

>> Im legit just in the bathroom downstairs

annannann help its really weird in here n i dont like this <<

>> What do u mean weird? What happened??

Akira n Ryuji are being weird <<

>> Oh.

>> Ohhhhhh shit ur right fuck

>> Sorry for leaving u alone with them, yikes

Whats going on w/ those 2? <<

They cant even look @ each other this is uncomf <<

>> Tbh, idk???????

>>They wont talk to each other, they wont talk to me

>>And I mean, really really they wont talk to me about it

>>I got a good feel for how far I can go with ryuji and he's…

>>I just /cant/ get anything from him at all!!!! I got nothing!

>>He'll just stop talking completely!

>>Its freaking me out a bit...

>>But I dunno what to do :(

Rly? <<

Hmmmmm gimme a sec <<

Well, judging by akiras call hist <<

ryuji used to call akira everynite for ~1 hr <<

Stopped around two wks ago on saturday <<

What happened then? <<

>> Jfc

>> Ur kinda scary sometimes, Futaba-chan

Nyehehe :3 <<

Well?? Answer the question! <<

>> Okok jeez

>> Uh,

>> We were like maybe halfway thru ur palace?

>> And Akira told us to take a break for the weekend

>> I didn’t see either of them myself

>> Idk they were just like this when we got back.

Ok, thats a start plz hold <<

GPS is telling me that he went to Ogikubo on Sunday <<

That’s a definite deviation from routine <<

>> Wow how r u getting this info so fast?

Oh lol <<

I just added myself to his acct so I could use the find my phone function n other stuff <<

His password is super easy to crack <<

>> I feel this an invasion of privacy

I literally put bugs all over the cafe do u think I give a shit about that <<

I'll sign out l8r if it makes u feel better, jeez <<

Anyways. <<

>> Ogikubo's where Ryuji's fav ramen place is?

>> Maybe they went there?

Akira doesnt go into any ramen place tho <<

He spent an hour in a 777 2 blocks away <<

And then he starts wandering around a lot b4 returning to leblanc <<

Maybe thats when they broke up or something <<

>> Lmao ya that’s

>> Wait

>> What do u mean broke up

What else am I supposed 2 think? <<

U arnt in the room rn! Its so awk!!! <<

They keep on LOOKING at each other with sad puppy eyes <<

Im getting major j-drama feels!! <<

Sad BGM is going to start up any second!!  <<

>> THEY

>> wait.

>> … SHIT

WHAT? <<

>> oh nooooooooo I think

>> oh shit

WHAT??????? <<

>> I think your right

>> And. I might have made a mistake

>> hold up. We'll talk about this later.

>> I think we're gonna need some backup for this one.

ANN COME ON JUST TELL ME <<

I HATE CLIFFHANGERS!!!! <<

>:(((( <<

* * *

 

Three teenagers and a cat are crowded around Ann's living room coffee table. Futaba is glaring daggers at Ann, who's making small talk with Makoto. Morgana is sitting in Ann's lap and is purring slightly as she scratches under his chin.

The unlocked door opens.

"I apologize for my tardiness." Yusuke says as he walks in. "I see that everyone else is already present— shall we begin this, ah… Phantom Thieves Super Secret Meeting Nobody Tell Joker Or Skull?"

Ann flashes him a smile. "Yep!"

"Indeed." Yusuke states. He rubs his chin as he continues, bemused. "Though, I can't say I know why we're actually here. That title, while impressively long, was not very descriptive…"

Makoto sighs. "Yes, you were pretty vague in your message, Ann. But judging by your cheerfulness, and your insistence on having all of us here before starting, this isn't an emergency, is it?"

Ann opens her mouth to speak, but is interrupted.

"… Ann." Futaba states blackly. "I've been dying to know what's been going on since yesterday and if you don't tell me right now _I swear I'm gonna brick your phone I wanna know tell me._ "

Ann laughs, slightly nervously. "Ahaha, yeah, I might have been a little vague, huh?"

"Is this about Akira and Ryuji?" Morgana asks. "I'm assuming it is, since neither of them were called here."

Ann's smile dims. "… Yeah. It is. I think you've all noticed that their relationship has become uh, kinda bad recently."

"No kidding." Makoto frowns. "It's all but impossible to have them on the same team anymore. They have practically no synergy."

Futaba kicks her feet back and forth. "Uh-huh. I know I haven't been on this team for long, but Ryuji and Akira always seemed to be real close judging by stuff I've overheard."

"So do you know what happened, Ann?" Morgana asks.

"I think I might." Ann pauses before saying anything else. Everyone else at the table unconsciously leans forwards in curiosity. "Okay, so… you guys gotta promise not to laugh or anything, okay?"

"Alright." "Of course." "Fine by me." "Yeah, sure, get on with it!"

"A while back, Ryuji was texting me, and we kinda sorta accidentally figured out that he had a big crush on— seriously, don't laugh!— Goro Akechi. Yeah. _That_ Goro Akechi."

Silence.

"You're joking." It's Morgana who speaks up, flatly unamused.

Yusuke shakes his head thoughtfully. "No, I can see it. I'd _thought_ I'd noticed a significant tonal shift in some of the remarks Ryuji had made about Akechi over time… Interesting."

"Alright. So Ryuji likes," Makoto makes a face, "…Akechi. I can't say anything for his taste, but what does this have to do with Akira?"

Ann starts fiddling with one of her ponytails. "I wasn't finished. Uh, I won't go into details, but basically, I told Ryuji to go to Akira for help. Because Akira knows Akechi the best, you know?"

"So if they're no longer speaking to each other… something must have happened." Yusuke concludes.

Ann nods. "Yeah! What I'm thinking, is that Akira was interested in Ryuji. Or Goro. One or the other, whatever. And then Ryuji went to Akira for help, Akira was a little hurt but he still said yes— because god knows that he's kinda a pushover sometimes— and then on Sunday, things fell apart."

"Well, I guess that explains why Akira spent an hour inside a 777 in Ogikubo, huh." Futaba pipes up. "I bet he was waiting so he could walk Ryuji home after his date."

"So what exactly went wrong?" Morgana agitatedly swishes his tail. "Did Ryuji do something? Or did Akechi, or Akira?"

"I think it must have been Akechi." Makoto says, with a downwards slant to her mouth. "He may not look like it, but he's very good at finding and exploiting emotional vulnerabilities."

"Ryuji can be kinda insensitive, though. This could just be the result of him sticking his foot in his mouth again." Morgana counters.

Yusuke shakes his head. "Are we going to discount our leader entirely? Though it seems out of character, who knows what lengths he might go to, in the heat of passion?"

Futaba shrugs. "I don't know enough about any of them to say which one's more likely. Anyways, why are we pointing fingers? It's not as if we have a good way to find out who did it or whatever."

"That's a good point." Makoto agrees, thoughtfully. "What's done is done. We should instead be focusing on how to fix this situation."

"I think what they need is to talk it out. Face-to-face, no distractions." Morgana says.

Ann nods thoughtfully, before grinning wickedly. "So what I'm hearing, is that we should lock all three of them up in a room—"

"—and let them strangle each other?" Futaba interjects doubtfully. She thinks about it and adds, "That sounds hilarious, actually. I change my mind!  This is a _great_ idea."

"Jokes aside, Ryuji and Akira don't seem to be _mad_ at each other. Just uncomfortable." Ann points out.

Makoto frowns. "But you're gonna have to have Akechi in there as well. We don't know what role he played in this drama."

"Well… yeS. I don't know how comfortable I am with assuming he was blameless or anything, but we know that he's involved. Whatever happens, Akechi has to be there too." Morgana doesn't sound terribly happy about it.

"Will this really work?" Yusuke interrupts, looking pensive. "Perhaps what they really need right now is not confrontation, but distance. What if our intervention makes everything worse?"

"If that happens… I'll take responsibility." Ann says. She looks away. "I'm the one who put the idea in Ryuji's head in the first place, so this is kinda my fault."

"No it's not." Makoto tells her firmly. She puts her hands over Ann's. "You are certainly not responsible for any of their actions. And right now, we're going to help them because Akira and Ryuji are our friends— not because we feel obligated to do so. If this doesn't work, we'll confront them as a team." She gives Ann a firm nod, and Ann smiles back at her.

"Well said, Queen!" Morgana jumps up onto the table. "Now, we've got a plan, but no details. So let's talk logistics."

Makoto sits up straight. "At the very least, we need a room with a lock on the outside and a way to get all three of them into it without raising suspicions."

"I think I've got something for the second part, maybe. Gimme a sec." Futaba volunteers, as she digs in her pocket for her phone.

"A room, huh?" Yusuke thinks out loud. "I would volunteer my dorm, but unfortunately I don't think it would suit our purposes. The wall are a bit thin."

Makoto shakes her head. "Thanks for offering, Yusuke, but I think I've got that covered. There's an unused shed on the Shujin campus that I can request the keys for. If you guys help me clean it out, I think it'll suit our purposes perfectly."

"I'll check that out with you tomorrow!" Ann says. "Actually, I can probably just send Ryuji a text asking him to meet me at the shed, too. He's pretty used to me dragging him around by now, and I don't think he'll question it if I word it correctly."

"I'll contact Akira, and ask him to meet me at school as well. It wouldn't be the first time, he won't suspect a thing." Makoto declares. "That just leaves Akechi, then."

"Yeah, I got that covered." Futaba tosses out absentmindedly. "He does TV stuff, right? I'm trying to see if I can spoof a message from his agent or whatever. Tell him to come to Shujin in x hours, yaddayaddayadda.  Hard part's gonna be finding out who to contact… and also forging the message, I guess."

"I'll help with that!" Morgana pads over. "Not to toot my own horn, but information gathering and deception are critical skills for phantom thievery in general, and ones I'm definitely good at."

"Nice." Futaba grins as she grabs Morgana and puts him in her lap.

"Alright!" Ann cheers. "Looks like we've got a plan!"

"Ah, just one moment." Yusuke looks back and forth between the two teams that have formed. He points at himself. "What about me?"

... Oops.

"… Oh. Hmmm." Ann furrows her brow in concentration. There's a moment of silence as everyone in the room tries to think of a role for Yusuke in this operation.

"Yusuke." Makoto says, firmly. "You… have the very important job of _backup_."

The others at the table look at her strangely. "He does?" Ann asks.

"He does." Makoto grabs Yusuke by the shoulders and stares deep into his eyes. "If any of them catch on to our plan, your job is to grab them from behind and shove them into the shed anyways. You're the strongest out of all of us—"

" _Somehow,_ " Futaba mutters under her breath.

Makoto steamrolls on. "— and we're counting on you."

"That's actually a good idea for something you came up with two seconds ago." Morgana says dryly. Ann hushes him, but Yusuke isn't paying attention to what Morgana's saying.

"I will endeavor to meet your expectations." He nods gravely at Makoto, as she lets go of him.

Morgana stretches. "Alright then. Everyone knows what they need to do?"

Nods all around the room.

"Then let's get started!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more to go.


	4. Act 3: Goro

Goro loves cycling because it's a great way to clear his mind. It's just him and the sway of the bike, the breeze on his face. And for an hour or so, he can forget about what an _absolute shitshow_ his life is.

It's very relaxing.

This trail in Inokashira is one of his favorites. It's challenging without being punishingly difficult, and Goro practically knows it by heart. He rounds a bend at a decent pace and almost unconsciously begins slowing down until he's stopped in front of a wider section of road, overlooking the water. For a second, Goro thinks he'll see—

(Bleached blonde hair with brown roots peeking out, matted with sweat. Ryuji's waiting for him again, and when he hears Goro's bike, he turns and grins at him in such honest good cheer that Goro can't help but smile back—)

But of course, there's nobody here today.

Goro makes his way over to the fence anyways. He's here already, so he might as well. He props his bike up against the railing, and leans his forearms against it, as he takes in the view. It's a beautiful summer dawn. The sun is shining over the water, and Goro can already tell that it's going to be another unbearably hot day.

(It's not the same without Ryuji here besides him.)

Goro sighs audibly, and hides his face in his hands. So much for clearing his mind. But that's not what this... impromptu early morning cycling had really been about at all, was it?

Goro's not good at introspection. Because if he thinks, then he worries, and if he worries, it gets harder and harder to keep up the façade of perfect pleasant Goro Akechi, teen detective, Shido's most valuable man. IT's just... too much. So much to do, so much to hide. He feels like he's a soap bubble close to popping sometimes, and it's tempting to just go hide in a corner and have a breakdown. But he can't. So he doesn't.

It's probably a stupid thing to do in the long run, but Goro really can't _afford_ to act otherwise, given his position. And sometimes, when it gets to be too much, when it feels like his skin's too tight and his smile's going to crack his face in two and he can't do it anymore, he can't take one more step…

He cycles. Rock-climbing works too, but cycling's better when he wants to feel alone. He goes in big circuits around the park until everything's burning and he can't get enough air and afterwards, he's too tired to do anything but lie down on the grass and be honest with himself for a second.

For a second, he can somehow face all the things he's been trying not to think about, all the awful truths about himself that he tries so hard to ignore from day to day. And then he gets up, and brushes the dirt off. Takes a hot shower. And gets on with his day.

It's probably the closest he ever gets to actual self-reflection.

Goro grabs his water bottle and takes a long swig, before resting it against his forehead with a sigh. He… doesn't have the time to run around in circles until he's so tired he feels like death. Not today, not even if he needs it. But there's a certain something in the air that makes him think that it's alright if he doesn't rely on a crutch for introspection this time. Maybe it’s the way that the sun's barely starting to peek over the tops of the trees, casting everything in a golden glow. Or maybe it's the way that this little alcove makes him think that the rest of the world doesn't exist. Either way, it makes Goro think that it can't hurt to try. He rests his arms on the railing again, and looks out over the water.

So.

Ryuji.

This is what comes to mind, when Goro thinks about Ryuji:

  1. Thinking about Ryuji hurts.
  2. It hurts, because you know you did something wrong.
  3. It wouldn’t hurt at all unless Ryuji had actually meant something to you.
  4. You like Ryuji.
  5. And you hurt him anyways.



Goro thinks helplessly to himself, _but I didn't mean it._

He's all too aware of how lacking it sounds. And it's not true, anyways. He _did_ mean it, and that's the problem.

It had felt like pieces of a puzzle clicking into place, the first time he's seen Ryuji and Akira together. They'd been just across the road, and Goro was about to go over and say hi. But before he could take more than a few steps in that direction, Ryuji had laughed, and slung his arm around Akira, who leaned into Ryuji's touch in turn, and… suddenly Goro didn't feel much like talking to either of them at the moment.

It made perfect sense. Ryuji wasn't _really_ interested in Goro. How could he be, when he had Akira?

Once Goro began looking for it, he found signs everywhere. Akira this, Akira that. Half the sentences out of Ryuji's mouth seemed to be about Akira. He couldn't even fault Ryuji for it— there was a certain quality to Akira that drew people to him. He got it, there was something special about Akira, he knew _exactly_ why Ryuji was so drawn to him because he felt the same way!

(So why did it hurt so much—) So why would Ryuji be chasing after Goro? What ulterior motive did he have?

An answer to that had hit him one evening, after completing another assignment for Shido. Goro Akechi was one of the most vocal opponents of the Phantom Thieves. Akira knew that he suspected their little group. Therefore, all of this must simply have been a way to take him out of the picture.

It had made sense.

It had made…

…

_No it didn't!_

It didn't make _any fucking sense at all!_

Goro's breath catches a little in sheer fury. It's so intense it scares him a little, but he's opened up Pandora's box now, and he can't _not_ see the truth laid out before him in stark black and white.

There was no conspiracy. There was no ulterior plan, but Goro had wanted there to be because…

Because…

He'd been _jealous._

Ryuji had made him feel special and wanted and somehow Goro had completely forgotten that maybe, just maybe, Ryuji has other people in his life! Ryuji has his own friends that he spends time with! Why had Goro been surprised to see Akira? Why hadn't he just said something to either of them, instead of letting his thoughts fester into fear and paranoia until it had seemed that breaking off one of the few positive relationships he had was _a logical solution?_

Goro's squeezing his water bottle so hard that his fingers are starting to hurt. There was no 'maybe' about this. This was his fault.

And he…

He needed to apologize. To Ryuji. And Akira. Both.

He shies away from the thought, at first. Confronting either of them, laying himself at their mercy… it's terrifying. Goro doesn't want to do it. But the thought of Ryuji and Akira hating him forever is, somehow, even worse. He bites the lip of his water bottle nervously. He'll— He has to do it. Sometime soon. Just… just as soon as he works up the nerve. He's busy today at the studio, though. So maybe tomorrow? Yes, he's do it tomorrow for sure—

Goro's phone chimes loudly. He fishes it out of his pockets and frowns.

Huh. It's one of his contacts at the TV station. He hadn't been expecting any messages from them— was there a problem with the show tonight? As he scans the message, a feeling of foreboding blossoms within Goro.

Shujin, huh…

He might see them today after all.

Goro doesn't know how to feel about it.

* * *

 

It's Makoto Niijima that greets him at the gate. She smiles a polite smile but clearly strained smile at him. "Akechi. You got the message?"

Hm. Looks like _somebody_ wasn't in the mood for common courtesy today. Perhaps Sae-san had yelled at her again.

Goro dials up his smile. "Yes, I am. I hope I'm not late, haha!"

Makoto's expression doesn't change, but Goro gets the impression that she's now glaring at him. "Alright. Follow me, please." She spins on her heel and marches away. Goro suppresses his irritation. Honestly. He hadn't even said anything to her this time. Wait, she couldn't possibly still be mad about that one time months ago, could she? Goro's annoyance is slowly replaced with confusion as Makoto leads him around to the yard, instead of going upstairs to a room. What kind of meeting was this? Goro slows down and  looks around.

Nothing looks out of place.

Out of the corner of his eye, Goro sees Makoto rounds the corner. Oh, he hadn't noticed that she'd gotten so far ahead of him. He picks up his pace, and then—

 **Black.** There's something over his face. At first, Goro thinks maybe he ran into someone and he's about to apologize, but he tries to move and realizes that his arms are pinned to his sides.

What?

Somebody starts dragging him backwards.

Goro struggles. "Let me go!"

His kidnappers don't acknowledge his words. He's really starting to panic now. Was this it? Had Shido decided that he'd outlived his usefulness? But he shouldn't have been suspicious! Goro hadn't made his move yet, what the hell?!

"Wait, hold on—"

"Open the door, I've got him!"

"Oh my god, that was supposed to be our last resort, not—"

"Too late now, go go go!"

Goro recognizes those voices. He could probably figure out who it was if he had a moment to think, but names are escaping him in the moment. He's more concerned with attempting to futilely fight back against his captors. He's off balance— literally and figuratively— and he's got a _fucking sack_ over his head. Hands push him in one direction, and he stumbles over the ground. He starts to fall. His hands are still trapped, and he can't catch himself. Goro squeezes his eyes shut as he braces himself as best he can.

Thump.

Ah. That… wasn't the floor?

Someone caught him?

"Thank you," Goro tries to say. He doesn't get any response. Maybe his mystery savior couldn't hear him through the sack. He stands back up and starts to pull it off.

"What the hell, guys!" Goro freezes. Oh, nonononono, that voice, he knows that voice. The sack slips through his numb fingers.

"Don't just shove people in here like that! What if… somebody'd…"

Ryuji trails off, wide-eyed, as Goro stares back at him.

* * *

 

Goro has no idea what to say.

"Good afternoon, Ryuji." No, that's a terrible idea.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Ryuji, what have you been up to?" Somehow, even worse!

"You look awful, Ryuji, have you been sleeping well rece—" Oh, this wasn't going to _work,_ somebody just shoot him in the face right now.

A chair scrapes roughly across the floor, and Goro whips his head around at the sound. Akira (since when was Akira in here too?) stalks forwards, shoving Goro out of the way as he addresses the door.

"Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Ha ha, you've had your fun, now let. Us. _Out._ " Akira sounds furious.

"Sorry, but that's not happening." Hold on, that's Makoto's voice. She was in on this?

"Yep!" And that would be… Ann Takamaki? Wait, what was going on here? She continues talking in an almost inappropriately cheerful tone. "It's been like, two and a half weeks! The rest of us have had enough of your moping everywhere, it's such a downer!"

"So if you're not going to talk on your own initiative, then we're just going to have to take matters into our own hands!" Hm. This voice… Goro can't put a name to it. He's definitely heard it before, but where…? "We don't know the details of what went down, but…"

"The longer you put off talking about this, the harder it will be." Makoto again. "We'll come back for you guys eventually, so don't worry about being trapped in there overnight. Well, have fun."

"You guys can't be serious!" Akira bangs on the door with his fists. "Let us out!"

"Can we go back to LeBlanc now? I want curry!" They're ignoring him.

"Curry sounds like a fantastic idea, Futaba. Let us depart at once."

"Wait, come back! Makoto? …Guys?" Akira's frantically jiggling the knob of the door. No luck, and not a peep in response.

It was just the three of them now.

Akira takes his hand off the doorknob, and slowly turns around. A vague sense of panic settles in Goro. The last time he'd seen Akira—

 _(Akira's face is twisted in fury as he holds Goro up against the wall. Goro can't_ move. _Shock and confusion lock his limbs in place, and some kind of unnamed fear scrapes its fingernails up his spine, but Akira doesn't hurt him. He lets go of Goro's lapels like he burns to the touch and he pours out his heart and Goro doesn't think that this is a conversation for him anymore, Akira's not talking to him and he shouldn't be the one to hear this but then he hears a sound and turns and standing at the alley entrance…)_

—it hadn't gone very well. And maybe Ryuji remembers it as well, because as Akira turns, he moves so that he's standing in front of Goro. Ryuji looks just as uncomfortable with this situation as Goro feels. Goro could almost trace the lines of tension in Ryuji's shoulders with his fingers.

Akira's gaze lights on Ryuji, and something in his expression crumples. He makes an aborted movement with his hand. "Ryuji, I…" There's an unfamiliar hesitance to Akira's voice.

Ryuji hunches over. He won't look at Akira, as he mumbles into the lining of his jacket.

"M' sorry."

Goro frowns in confusion, but it's Akira who says what they're both thinking aloud. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

Ryuji looks like he's rather be anywhere be here, but he reluctantly speaks up. "I mean, you heard what they said, man. We gotta sort out this shit, it's causin' trouble for people, and. I dunno, this frickin' mess is mostly my fault, yeah? If I hadn't said anything… "

"What?"

Ryuji flinches back at Akira's confused disbelief. He rushes to explain. "If I hadn't been selfish, then maybe I could seen how much I was hurtin' you! I shoulda been more sensitive n' shit, I was bein' stupid. And I stepped all over your feelings like an effin' idiot and. I'm sorry."

"Wait, hold on, that's not— hold on." Akira steps closer, and Ryuji tries to backs away and walks right into Goro. Reflexively, Goro puts one hand on Ryuji's shoulder to steady him. Ryuji glances back at him, looking vaguely panicky, and Goro realizes that his gesture could be taken as an attempt to keep Ryuji from backing away. Shit.

Akira's gaze flickers to Goro for a second. However, he doesn't say anything. He looks back at Ryuji with a soft expression. "If there's anyone in this room who should be getting an apology…" he says, slowly, "shouldn't it be you?"

It's Ryuji's turn to tilt his head in confusion. He doesn't say anything, though, and Akira continues talking. "I didn't have to keep secrets. If I'd trusted you with the fact that I liked you from the beginning, like you'd trusted me, then none of this would have happened. I keep calling myself your friend. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to confide in you at all. If you're going to lay blame on anyone, shouldn't it be on me?"

Ryuji shakes his head. "I can't do that! You were just—"

" _Exactly._ " Akira leans in close to Ryuji.  "I can't blame you either, alright?"

"But—"

Akira smiles fondly at Ryuji. "I don't blame you for any of it, Ryuji. If you want to apologize, fine, I'll accept it. But you never needed to, alright? Not to me."

Ryuji hesitates before dipping his head in a nod. "Alright."

The two of them stand there like that, and Goro knows that he should give them some privacy in their intimacy, but his eyes catch on the gentle curve of Akira's smile, the way that the tips of Ryuji's ears flush pink, they way that you could just tell that they cared so much about each other.

It's all he ever wanted right in front of him, he realizes. The scant inches between him and the two of them might as well be miles, but… Goro wants nothing more to get closer.

He wants them both to be happy, he realizes. He loves them.

There's a bitter taste to this realization— Goro had ruined everything for himself again, hadn't he? It's a kind of cruel irony, one totally in line with every-fucking-thing else that's happened in his life. (He wishes that it wasn't too late, that he could get just one chance, one chance to make it right—)

"One more thing." Akira opens his eyes and steps back. He turns, and his eyes bore into Goro. "There's another apology that we need to hear, isn't there?"

Goro's mouth goes dry. There's not even any heat behind Akira's gaze— it's carefully neutral, as if he can read Goro's mind. As if he's telling Goro that he getting his wish. One chance to make it right.

Goro nods back at Akira, firmly. Even if he doesn't feel sure about this at all, he won't fuck this up. He can't afford to.

He clears his throat and says, "Ryuji, I'm—"

He's completely drowned out by Ryuji. "Yeah! I'm sorry to you too, Goro!"

Goro's eyes widen. He points at himself. "What, me?"

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck as looks to the side. Words fall out of his mouth like an avalanche, getting faster as he picks up momentum. "I mean. Yeah. I messed up with you too, you know? I shouldn't have gotten so upset when you said that— you know. You never even said you didn't want to be friends anymore or anything and like, looking back at shit I guess I wasn't clear at all on the fact that I, uh, liked you or whatever? I didn't say it out loud, I didn't call it a date or anything… so I totally shoulda seen that coming, you know? Uh. Rejection, I mean. I overreacted, I'm sorry, I shoulda just kept my mouth shut but I got so excited, and—"

"Don't." Goro speaks up without thinking. "Please, _don't._ "

Ryuji blinks at him and Goro can't take this anymore, he grabs Ryuji by the shoulders, pulling him in closer.

He has no plan. No tips or tricks for how to spin the situation to his advantage, no idea of what to say to make everything alright again. He… just knows that he has to say _something._ He can't just stand there and let Ryuji take the blame. It's not his burden to bear.

"You shouldn't apologize, Ryuji." Goro pleads. "Please don't do that. None of it was your fault. It's mine. I hurt you— I hurt you _knowingly._ I knew of your feelings for me and I rejected them anyways because of some stupid, selfish jealousy and I've been regretting it every single second since. You didn't deserve that. Neither you, nor Akira deserved that. And I…"

Goro trails off. Both Ryuji and Akira are looking at him.

"I think I underestimated how much your presence meant to me." Goro quietly says to Ryuji. He reaches out on impulse and cups Ryuji's face in his hand. His thumb gently brushes over his cheek, and Ryuji puts one hand over Goro's. He doesn't say anything as he stares wide-eyed back at Goro. But he's not immediately pushing him away, either.

Goro closes his eyes. "I know I haven't done anything to deserve a second chance. And there's nothing that I can tell you that would justify my actions, and you don't have any guarantee that it won't happen again, but I… I—"

Goro's throat has closed up, and he swallows, hard. Ah, is he crying? What a mess. He hates letting people see him cry. Goro lets go of Ryuji, and hastily tries to hide his face in his sleeve.

Ryuji's hand winds around to the small of his back, and he pulls Goro into a hug. Goro buries his face in Ryuji's neck as he stumbles onwards. "Please don't hate me. Please don't leave, I don't know how to make this right again, I can't— don't leave, I fucked up and everyone got hurt because of it, you should hate me. Don't hate me. Ryuji—"

Goro starts at the feeling of something warm behind him. Akira rests his head on Goro's shoulder. "…I don't think either of us hate you." He admits in a low voice. He reaches around to hug both Ryuji and Goro.

Akira sighs, warm breath ghosting over Goro's ear. "It's ironic that you say you were jealous, really. So was I. If either of us had just _said_ something, instead of just bottling it up, this would have been so unnecessary." He laughs humorlessly. "I guess… we all fucked up, didn't we?"

"Yeah. Well, we're teenagers, I think we're allowed to make mistakes or somethin', yeah?" Ryuji offers.

Akira snorts. "Yeah. Gotta fill out our teenage rebellion mistake quota, huh?"

"Do we get a coupon for one free mistake if we fill out the stampcard?" Goro quips. He winces immediately; that was a terrible joke. Akira and Ryuji like it, though. They both laugh, and Goro can feel the vibrations through their bodies, still pressed flush against his.

As their laughter dies down, Ryuji pulls back slightly and clears his throat. "Soooo… we good, guys?"

Goro's about to say yes when he realizes that no, actually. There's one important thing that they'd forgotten to do. "Wait. No, we got too caught up in apologies and we never actually… what are we, exactly? The three of us."

Ryuji blinks. "I… oh. I didn't think about that." He crosses his arms and frowns. "Both of you are really important to me n' shit, you know? I don't wanna choose."

"…I feel the same way." Akira adds.

"Even if we've had… a rocky relationship so far," —he looks at Goro and turns slightly pink, like he's remembering the alleyway in embarrassment— "it's still not one that I'm willing to give up so easily. You two are both important to me."

Goro's chest is uncomfortably tight and warm, and he can't help but smile. "Then, all three...?"

Akira flashes him a smile, and so does Ryuji. It's answer enough. Goro thinks his heart might explode. If he died right now, he would die happy.

"Actually, that reminds me of something." Akira's got a contemplative look on his face. "If we're going to be in a relationship… I don't think we should be keeping secrets from each other. That's what started this whole mess in the first place, isn't it? So… I think there’s something we need to tell you."

Ryuji looks at Akira, first in confusion, then in shock. "Wait, are you—"

"Yeah. I think we have to." Akira puts his hands in his pockets and faces Goro. "Cards on the table. You were right. We're members of the Phantom Thieves."

He and Ryuji both look at Goro, waiting for some kind of reaction.

Goro… feels a choice looming before him.  

They don't know that he has access to the Metaverse. They don't know that he's seen them in there a few times, from a distance. The fact that he's been Shido's pet assassin for years, the damage that he's caused... He could keep it a secret. He didn't think that the Phantom Thieves suspected him at all, he could just… lie by omission, and keep to his plan of taking Shido down by himself.

But Goro looks at the two of them, standing there expectantly, and he thinks that if he lied to them again, they _really_ wouldn't forgive him. (And he wouldn't deserve to be forgiven.)

Ryuji and Akira… or his revenge.

Goro squeezes his eyes shut and makes a _choice._

"…I know. I've seen you guys. In the Metaverse, that is." He takes a shaky breath and continues. "When I was fourteen, my mother died. And soon after, I found a strange app on my phone…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand thats all he wrote! surprise, this was actually a fixit fic in the end, i cant seem to get away from those. this was fun to do! a little different from my current project, and def some new territory for me, but i hope u all enjoyed! sorry for not replying to comments like i usually do, its just kinda been A Time these few weeks. i read every last one and i cherish them greatly, i assure you! once more, ty for reading.
> 
> (i hope u liked this, jem!! <3)


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